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The Give-me-fest  – Melissa M. Harden

 

It really is better to give than receive.  Now having said that, I would like to introduce you to my idea of a meaningful birthday celebration. I call them Reverse-Giving Birthday parties.

 

A Reverse-Giving Birthday party (R.G.B.P.), is simply to place the guests before the gifts! At an R.G.B.P. the child and parents make the invitations, decorations, hats, cakes, and favors for the guests. The family also makes or purchase small, inexpensive gifts for the guests. The child wraps the gifts, decorates the room, and makes preparations with his guests in mind. The birthday child hands out gifts to each guest and thanks them for celebrating this day with him. After everyone sings, “Happy Birthday” to him he passes cake slices to his guests before he receives a slice for himself. Before everyone leaves the party the birthday child gets everyone’s attention and thanks them for sharing his special day! Soon after the party he makes “Thank You” cards and sign his name and mails them right away.

 

Other details such as games are entirely up to you and the birthday child. I personally think games are an important element of the birthday celebration!

Our family will celebrate the "big" numbers such as 5, 10, 13, 16, and 18. You may ask, "What about the big 1st birthday party?!". In my opinion, the precious first birthday should be with the family. The big, lavish birthday bashes for a one year old are mostly for the parents. The child is too young to enjoy the party or to even remember it.

Our oldest son’s fifth birthday is now two year past, where has time gone? Here is the invitation insert:

Skylor's birthday party is a reverse-giving party!
He will give gifts to you! You are in no way obligated to bring a gift
for him, however, if you must, please bring a hand-made, homemade
gift! He loves airplanes so, a paper airplane made by your hands will
thrill him to pieces!
We hope to see you at the party. It is going to be a lot of fun!
Ma Harden

 

The celebration was a success! He was thrilled to give his friends presents he made, bought and wrapped himself. The presents he received with sheer joy were paper airplanes, a huge cardboard/duct tape airplane and some hand-made foam airplanes. They lasted as long if not longer than store-bought toys and they meant more to him because they were hand-made.

 

 Adults tend to celebrate the yearly anniversary of our birth on the “mile markers”, if ever. Yet during our children’s early years we lavish them with give-me-fests every single year. We chose the theme, colors, buy the decorations, order the cake, make the gift bags, hire entertainment and then .. the guest list. How many people can we invite and who will bring the best gifts?

 

After traipsing all over town with my little ones in tow to find that unique gift-fest offering, spending more than I budgeted, wrapping it and making a cool birthday greeting we are usually the recipients of ill-manners. Not a murmur of a thank you and certainly not a thank you card to show their appreciation for the time, money and effort spent on our part of the gift-a-bration.

                             

As we have handed children their gift we have heard, “Is that all?!”  “Are there any more?” “My grandpa just gave me ten birthday presents!” Then we hear the mother say, “Now Johnny, that wasn’t nice. Now tell, (what is his name?) oh yes, tell Jimmy thank you.” The fore statements are the very reasons why I think it is rude for anyone to invite us to their children’s birthday parties. Gee, that was a strong statement. ah hem....

 

When my family is invited to a give-me-fest by a friend or acquaintance I will gladly find an excuse not to attend. Deep down I know these children have plenty and besides they will never remember the gifts we give because they are not big and expensive enough to stand out of the mountain of presents.

 

Would it be excessive for adults to throw birthday parties for themselves every year? If you answered yes, then why is it not excessive for children? We can celebrate the growth of our family without collective measures and the heavy financial  burden of our friends and family.

 

It is only once a year, so why should I be so adamant about not attending such a festivity? If you take the number of how many friends your children have and how many little ones are in your extended family it is way more than just once a year. Just for kicks multiply the number of parties you went to last year times the average amount you spent on each child. That’s a lot of dough. Did you get a thank you in the mail? I highly doubt it.

 

You want your children to have everything that you didn’t or you just want them to have the best  childhood ever. A toy will not enhance their future. Teaching your children to be happy for what they already have, appreciating the value of time and money, savoring the occasion with family, friends and being truly thankful for all, these are life-gifts. Life-gifts are inside you and I, little morsels of the good we have learned from others and most of all nuggets of truth from God. 

 

So I end my rant by saying, celebrate the child not the gifts by keeping the precious occasion about family, close friends and those all-important life-gifts of true goodness and pure thankfulness.

 

Melissa M. Harden, wife to Mark, mother and home-educator of their two boys, author of dear mamma, natural parenting for the 1^st year ©2005 dearmamma.com Publishing House and www.dearmamma.com email melissamharden@yahoo.com