"It is absolutely the new mom, must have, book of the year!" Wendy Callahan of www.vaccinetruth.org

All natural
Marseilles mom pens book about parenting nature's way MELISSA GARZANELLI, melissag@mywebtimes.com, (815) 431-4049

Photo: Katy Mull Local author wrote a book on natural parenting.

MARSEILLES -- Melissa Harden knows "the look" all too well, the look that tells her that her parenting methods are a little, well, offbeat.

Harden recalls an incident at a restaurant ordering a pancake for her son -- with no butter and no syrup. When the pancake came out with the butter and syrup covering it, Harden sent it back and was rewarded with "the look."

"I know she thought I was rude," said the 35-year-old mother of two from Marseilles. "If I had told the waitress that my son was diabetic, it would have been fine. If it was because of a disease, it's OK. But when you tell them as a parent you've decided not to give your child sugar, then that's weird."

Even before becoming a parent five years ago, Harden began researching what she calls natural parenting.

"The concept is to be a natural parent, to essentially have no regrets," said Harden. "Utilize all things natural and avoid things that are synthetic or unnatural. It starts with home birth or natural birth, breastfeeding, keeping your son intact (rather than having him circumcised), the awareness of the pros and cons of vaccinations. It's important to be well educated."

Through her research and networking with other local parents who share similar views, Harden put pen to paper to write a book about natural parenting for the first year. The effort began as a gift to a friend who was pregnant, but snowballed as her friends encouraged her to write more.

"(The book) gives good information that people don't normally think about," said Judi Ryan, who lives outside Norway and is a naturopathic doctor. Ryan has six children, with a seventh child on the way, and was a primary source for Harden's book.

Ryan worked with Harden regarding her diet during her first pregnancy. Harden points to her own childhood as proof of what a dietary change can do.

"When I was brought up, I was considered a sickly child," she said, listing asthma and allergies that plagued her until she began to make changes in what she ate. "I believe it's my diet, not the needless medical intervention with the shots and the tests."

"Diet is the first and foremost thing for good health," agreed Ryan. "And supplements are secondary."

Harden and her family incorporate a vegan diet, something that has developed gradually over the past five years. They eat no animal products, including meat, eggs or dairy. All of the fruit and vegetables they eat are organic. They very rarely eat sugar.

Harden said this lifestyle change has made the difference in her family's health, but acknowledged it's an uphill battle, particularly when businesses hand out candy, children's programs offer sweets and family members share homebaked goodies.

"In America, we reward with food," she said. "Wouldn't it be better to reward with accolades, something other than food? ... Sugar is very detrimental. Look at the rise in diabetes, obesity, hyper children with ADHD. It's all dietary. I know that sounds radical."

Harden also uses homeopathic cures for illnesses, rather than relying on the medical community, and promotes those methods in her book. Through her research and her own experiences, Harden rejected some standard medical advice, such as not bringing babies into the parents' bed and letting them "cry it out."

"Parents should embrace the innocence and dependence of children instead of the grow up and get out attitude," she said. "The worst advice I ever had was to allow the baby to cry -- for lung exercises. Babies cry because that is their way to communicate."

Harden admits her husband, Mark, was reluctant to allow their first son, Skylor, to sleep with them, but it wasn't long until he was a believer in the concept of the family bed -- something that is embraced by other cultures around the world.

"Now he says he wouldn't have it any other way," said Harden.

While Harden plans to homeschool her two sons, she insists that her being at home doesn't mean she forgets about her own needs. Her book reminds mothers to take care of themselves by taking that daily shower, wearing something besides pajamas and taking time for personal interests, including working from home.

"I'm very career-oriented. My children enhance that," she said, though she adds that family must be the top priority. "If you are going to have children, make them a priority. Enjoy it and embrace it."

Click here to read the full interview by The Time's reporter, Melissa Garzanelli and author Melissa M. Harden.